Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
