I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize