I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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