She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
