Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
