why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
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just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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