please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
