So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
