dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
