did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize