The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
