My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
