He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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