She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
sex in a hospital.. check
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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