Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
