either way he was missing a nipple.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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