i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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