I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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