i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
