Got a toothbrush?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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