Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
a search helicopter?!
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My bed smells like the plague
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