If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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