So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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