Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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