Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
