3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
