With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
