well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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