I wanna passion pit in your ass
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
