well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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