Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
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He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
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Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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