i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
