To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
