MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
