i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
