I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
