I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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