I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
