She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
