i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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