I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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