so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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