do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
