There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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