I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I have tasted many bathrooms
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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