you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
