I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
