I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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