..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think I won the penis lottery.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize