U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
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