would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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