I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
