I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
