He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
