1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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