i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Michael Bay diarrhea
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
