Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
