tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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