my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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